Back then: Sex was for procreation.
Now: Sex is for recreation.
Back then: You had sex behind your parents’ back.
Now: You have sex behind your kids’ back.
Back then: You thought an older man was 30.
Now: You think a younger man is 30.
Back then: You’d remember every romantic detail.
Now: You can’t remember your date’s last name.
Back then: You had endless endurance.
Now: You have a paramedic on speed dial.
Back then: You felt like you could live forever.
Now: You hope you make it till Tuesday.
Back then: You didn’t need a bra.
Now: You need more support than Hoover Dam.
Back then: You could spot your date a mile away.
Now: You need binoculars to read a menu.
Back then: You’d wonder, Is this someone I can spend my life with?
Now: You ponder, Is this someone worth cleaning my house for?
Back then: You’d be impressed with a date’s cool car.
Now: You’re relieved if your date has teeth.
Back then: You’d have sex in daylight.
Now: You prefer sex in a blackout.
Back then: You’d press your bet on Mr./Ms. Right.
Now: You’ll roll the dice on Mr./Ms. Right as long as they don’t have a fever.
August 25, 2020