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Amelia, a 46-year-old office supervisor in Rochester, NY, mentioned a handful of annoying yet concerning symptoms to her primary care doctor at her last checkup.
They included trouble sleeping, heart palpitations, painful periods, mood changes, brain fog and joint pain. Her doctor immediately dismissed most of them as simply a part of aging or possibly mild depression and spoke with her about starting an antidepressant medication.
Many women navigating perimenopause and menopause challenges find themselves dismissed or invalidated, a phenomenon some have coined “menopause gaslighting.” Their symptoms, from night sweats to disordered eating, anxiety to poor body image, are disparaged, downplayed or denied.
What’s more, since certain perimenopause and menopause symptoms aren’t well understood by the medical community and society in general, spouses or partners, friends and co-workers often lack empathy or, worse, suspect that you’re suffering from an illness anxiety disorder (formerly known as hypochondria). They tend to minimize your hodgepodge of symptoms because they don’t understand them, and your doctor can’t seem to pinpoint the cause.
Often misdiagnosed as "just stress" or "normal aging," symptoms are brushed aside, leaving many women feeling unheard, unsupported and suffering in silence.
Delaying proper treatment can exacerbate symptoms and undermine a woman’s sense of confidence in her own experiences. Studies show that nearly 70 percent of menopausal women feel unsupported by their healthcare providers, with many reporting a lack of comprehensive care or acknowledgment of their symptoms.
“For the women who have to deal with gaslighting, the emotional hurt can be profound,” says Michelle English, LCSW, executive clinical manager at Healthy Life Recovery in San Diego. “Feeling dismissed may lead to frustration, a sense of alienation and worsened mental health symptoms in the form of anxiety or depression. Gaslighting during such an essential phase of life can be damaging.”
“At a more profound level, it is imperative to understand the systemic obstacles in women's healthcare,” she adds. “Women’s health issues have, and continue to be, neglected and underfunded, which, in turn, fuels the care deficit.”
What’s With Gaslighting, Anyway?
“It’s a problem rooted in long-standing systemic gaps in healthcare, societal stigma and insufficient resources for patient education and provider training,” says Dr. Navya Mysore, medical director of women’s health at Nurx, an online women’s healthcare clinic.
“For decades, menopause has been under-researched, leaving providers without the tools to offer evidence-based, empathetic care,” she explains. “Symptoms like hot flashes, sleep disruptions and mood changes are often dismissed — by patients and providers — as ‘normal aging’ rather than treated as legitimate health concerns. And when women do seek care, they often find it difficult to identify specialists or providers who understand menopause.”
Dr. Mysore says that every woman experiences menopause differently, and it can include biological changes that are wide-ranging and both physical and emotional. A recent study found a link between severe menopause symptoms, like hot flashes and cognitive function.
In fact, women report a diverse array of symptoms, including hot flashes, night sweats, mood changes, brain fog, joint pain, vertigo, weight gain, vaginal dryness, heart palpitations, urinary incontinence, skin changes, sleep problems, depression, anxiety, sensitive teeth, fatigue, headaches, bloating, loss of sex drive and forgetfulness among others.
No wonder menopause is so complex!
Gaslighting may happen intentionally or unintentionally when doctors aren’t knowledgeable about the many biological changes women face. Also, physicians who don’t practice a gender-based approach to disease and use a “one-size-fits-all” methodology may miss a lot of menopause symptoms. Unfortunately, there is still a pervasive belief that whenever a woman has a medical complaint, it’s all in her head.
How to Deal with Menopause Gaslighting
Combatting menopause gaslighting starts with education and advocacy. Women should feel empowered to seek second opinions, ask questions and demand better care.
“Feelings caused by the neglect of a healthcare professional can be very distressing and may lead to anxiety, depression or more frustration,” says English. Women may feel not only isolated and unsupported, but that lack of support can make the emotional components of menopause even more difficult to deal with.
If you’ve been the victim of menopause gaslighting, here are some steps to take, according to health professionals.
· If your physician isn’t giving you adequate time or answers, get a second opinion from a specialist or a physician well-versed in treating menopause.
· Keep a symptom diary so you can relay the severity and frequency of your symptoms.
· Advocate for yourself. If you disagree with your doctor’s diagnosis, speak up and say so.
· Trust your gut. Symptoms that disrupt the quality of your life need to be addressed.
· Learn all you can about menopause and its symptoms so you’re well-informed.
· Open conversations about menopause are crucial to reducing stigma.
· Working with a therapist who specializes in women’s health can help you process feelings of frustration, anger and loss, if needed.
Menopause symptoms aren’t just "in your head" — they’re real, and they deserve the attention and care that every woman needs to thrive.
Are you familiar with menopause gaslighting? Has it happened to you? Let us know in the comments below.
Michelle Pereira
Follow Article Topics: Health
