Do you like to read? Do you enjoy winning free books and hearing from your favorite authors? Then join our closed Facebook group, The Girlfriend Book Club, today. You'll love it!
Several years ago, a friend told me that her 81-year-old grandmother was in the hospital with a broken hip. When I inquired about what happened, she said her grandmother had taken a spill while stepping off her bathroom scale.
After asking if she was okay after surgery, my next question was, “She still weighs herself?” I was genuinely surprised that she would care if she gained or lost a few pounds at her age.
My friend responded that her grandmother still weighed herself every morning. She was a svelte woman her entire life, and maintaining her figure was something she took pride in. Her grandmother had always been concerned about her weight and physical appearance, which hadn’t dissipated with age. The number on the scale continued to matter to her.
Would that be me, too? Would I never, not at any age, be able to get off the rollercoaster ride of allowing the number on a scale to influence my self-worth?
Always on a Diet
Growing up, my mother tried every diet, from Weight Watchers to Atkins. I remember when she was in Overeaters Anonymous in the 1970s when she would call her sponsor to help her resist the urge to snack.
Since my dad always ate what he wanted, I thought “being on a diet” was normal female behavior toward food. I believed every woman counted calories, kept a food diary and measured their portions on a plastic scale in the kitchen before consuming.
A chubby kid, I went on my first diet in elementary school. Going on and off diets, depriving myself of carbs or fat or both, depending on what was on trend, continued through my teens and adulthood. I'd hit my "goal" at specific points only to start indulging because "life was too short” and watch the scale number creep up. I'd chastise my lack of willpower when I gained weight and congratulate myself when the number on the scale went down.
At some point in my late 40s, I realized that diets don't work. But even my attempts at healthy eating (more water) and exercise (adding weight training) were veiled versions of diets since they didn't result in permanently changed behavior.
The Magic Fix Has Arrived
My obsession with being a specific pant size has dimmed with age. Most of the time, I remember the opportunity to grow older is a privilege. I know too many people who face physical limitations and illnesses — from minor to debilitating to dire — not to be grateful for my health.
But in weaker moments, I do see myself in the mirror and stare in disbelief at the not-so-subtle signs of aging that confront me. “Aging is hard for everybody, especially women,” explains Laura Putnam, a well-being expert and author of Workplace Wellness That Work. "Ageism and sexism still exist. Women may want to embrace aging bravely and gracefully, but it's not always easy."
The devil on my shoulder is making it even harder. I hear him whispering, "You don't have to age gracefully after all…”
I don't have to have grey hair (and I don’t — I dye it monthly) or have lines, wrinkles, sinking cheeks and age spots. A fill and a tuck and a zap and poof!
I don’t have to gain weight with age, either. No longer is putting on pounds inevitable as metabolisms slow and middles spread. It seems the “magic fix” to remove the stubborn pounds we have all wished for over the years has finally arrived.
Celebrities, models, influencers — they are all taking weight loss drugs. Friends, neighbors and co-workers are taking them, too. So, instead of getting thicker with age, everyone is getting thinner. But not me.
Weight Game
For those who choose not to take weight loss drugs, the reasons differ. For some, it's moral; for others, it's financial. And, for some, like me, it's fear. I've thought about it, even discussing it with my physician, but she discouraged me.
I'm healthy — no diabetes or underlying conditions that would make these drugs a necessity. And for me, the amount of weight I’d like to lose isn’t worth the possible long-term effects we don't yet know about.
So, while I am not judging people who take weight loss drugs, their choice does make me judge myself harsher. And I’m not alone.
Friends have admitted the same push-pull. They, too, see women in their social circles getting thinner and thinner. It’s hard to resist the urge to take one of these weight-loss drugs, even if it's just to lose a few pounds.
Putnam says, "We all get to have our own feel-good barometer. Studies show that older women who continue to put themselves together do better with aging and feel more confident. Each of us gets to decide what that means to us."
While I believe in body positivity and acceptance, the "thin is forever in" mentality is hard to escape, especially when it's been ingrained in you since your youth.
“Regardless of societal norms, we are all the authors of our lives,” explains Putnam. “We don't get to choose what others will do, but we do get to decide how we will respond.”
I admit that I enjoy a glass of wine, a hot breadbasket and a decadent dessert. I'm unwilling to give up the fun of eating, even to look skinny in skinny jeans.
Right now, I'll keep trying to make healthier choices, socialize often, meditate and get fresh air daily. I'll also do my best not to let my weight dictate my self-worth. And if I am 81 and still getting on the scale daily, I guess I'll have to be extra careful when I step off.
Have any of you tried weight-loss drugs? Have they worked? Let us know in the comments below.
Josie Norton
Follow Article Topics: Health
